The Advocate Feb 2009 Iss. 1023
"The Next Condom Conundrum" by Steve Weinstein
A nascent practice among pay men around the country in an effort to prevent HIV contraction is a method know as Pre Exposure Prophlaxis or PrEP. The practice involves gay men taking HIV medication such as Tenofovir, a.k.a. Virad, before intercourse to protect against HIV. The genesis of PrEP emerged from observations of Post Exposure Phophalaxis (PEP) drug regiments. Individuals that obtain Tenofovir often acquire it from friends, partners, or drug dealers. Since antiretroviral drugs aren't controlled substances, they can be readily obtained from people with possession of those drugs. Often at circuit parties Tenofovir is sold in conjunction with other drugs in a combo known as "MTV" or Meth, Tenofovir & Viagra. Upon rare cases, physicians that observe HIV negative patients exhibiting high risk behavior will prescribe antiretoviral drugs but only as a last resort measure and not as an alternative to counseling.
Despite the availability of Tenofovir, PrEP has not been proven to be an effective HIV prevention method. Studies of PrEP in major metropolitan areas is limited and inconsistent. However the medical community is investigating the validity of PrEP drug regiments to determine its success and/or effectiveness. Preliminary research has yielded promising results but the investigations are ongoing. If PrEP techniques prove to assist in HIV prevention, physicians believe it should be used in conjunction with condoms and not as a stand alone method. Doctors don't want to be perceived as condoning bareback sex by approving PrEP techniques. PrEP appears to be another favorable tool usable to combat HIV contraction but medical experts concede it should not replace condom use, addressing at risk personal behavior, or informing oneself on established HIV prevention techniques.
So what do you think?
Essay submitted by Cesar Romero, The Village Core Group active member
2/25/09
The Next Condom Conundrum
2/23/09
Coffee Talk 2/18/09 "Commmmmmm"
Self expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment
Pearl S. Buck
At Coffee Talk this week we talked about Communication and also Communication Skills: what we need to have a better communication between others? Why we need to learn to listen? And also when to speak?
Effective communication is all about conveying your messages to other people clearly and unambiguously. It's also about receiving information that others are sending to you, with as little Distortion as possible.
Doing this involves effort from both the sender of the message and the receiver. And it's a process that can be fraught with error, with messages muddled by the sender, or misinterpreted by the recipient. When this isn't detected, it can cause tremendous confusion, wasted effort and missed opportunity.
In fact, communication is only successful when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information as a result of the communication. By successfully getting your message across, you convey your thoughts and ideas effectively. When not successful, the thoughts and ideas that you actually send do not necessarily reflect what you think, causing a communications breakdown and creating roadblocks that stand in the way of your goals.
Problems with communication can pop up!! At every stage of the communication process which consists of the sender, encoding, the channel, decoding, the receiver, feedback and the context.
To be an effective communicator and to get your point across without misunderstanding and confusion, your goal should be to lessen the frequency of problems at each stage of this process, with clear, concise, accurate, well planned communications.
To deliver your messages effectively, you must commit to breaking down the barriers that exist within each of these stages of the communication process.
Once we understand this, we need to work to understand our audiences culture, making sure we can converse and deliver our message to people of different backgrounds and cultures within our own conversational group.
And last but not less important we need to LEARN to Respect differences: dont judge people because of the way they speak.
Contributed by: Frangy Gomez a regular coffee talk attendee.
2/17/09
Coffee Talk 2/11/09 "He's Just Not That Into You"
He's just not that into you.
If you're reading this then you've survived - or relished in - another Valentine's Day. While a growing counter movement might be reclaiming February 14th as Singles Awareness Day, the fact remains that Valentine's as a holiday has for most of our collective lives been about red roses, chocolates in heart-shaped boxes, and singing gorillas. We know to some degree, whether we subscribe or not, WHAT Valentines should look like and HOW it should be celebrated. Too often the WHY of Valentine's Day - WHY we celebrate on February 14th or WHY the holiday means so much - goes unexamined. Like many holidays, Valentine's is celebrated because we've always celebrated it. From the moment we dropped our Transformer or Care Bear cardboard valentines into shoeboxes covered in pink and red construction paper we were being conditioned to be zealous celebrators of the commercialization of LOVE.
And with those first valentines sent and received it's possible that we had an early introduction to what it means to be rejected. You know what I'm talking about: noticing that "so-and-so" or "what's his face" got more valentines and conversation hearts than you did. Or being acutely aware that some of your peers were very selective about the kind of valentines they gave you ("Let's BEE Friends") This played out until about fifth grade, when puberty kicked in and expressions of love in the form of Disney-themed valentines taped to the back of suckers became dangerous and beneath us. Then the rejection of our childhood was outdone by the rejection of our early and late teens.
Rejection is tough my friends. It cuts deep, especially when all we want is someone to take us out for a romantic dinner at Olive Garden on February 14th. After being rejected so many times one may start to think that they have only themselves to blame, that they must be flawed. Certainly we each have a "personal responsibility" for quelling our loneliness, but not being able to "couple on command" isn't a sign we're worthless - right?
In reality, being rejected may simply have more to do with the fact that, "he's just not that into you." I mean, why does it always have to be about you? Maybe that guy didn't want to go on a date with you because he had a terrible bikini waxing accident and doesn't want to be put in a situation that needs explaining. Maybe "what's his face" wasn't receptive to your passes because he's straight, or he's only into dating third or fourth cousins. Maybe the reason "so-and-so" didn't call you back is because he's just not that into you. Perhaps, and I don't think it's a stretch, not being paired up on Valentine's Day DOESN'T mean you're worthless. It may just be that the Valentine's Day is a crock. We should give some hard thought to why we celebrate, and how February 14th could be a real celebration of the many kinds of loves that are out there for us and others.
contributed by: Josh Newbury, The Moderator of Coffee Talk.
2/13/09
Qualities of a Healthy Relationship
A Healthy Relationship...
* Is basically calm rather than frantic.
* Is a friendship that does not force anyone to succumb to unacceptable peer pressure in order to maintain a friendship.
* Accepts the need for privacy on both sides.
* Allows for differences of opinions.
* Allows the time two people need to get to know each other and find out how compatible or different they are.
* Involves two people who already feel good about themselves and who carry those good feelings into their relationship.
* Will not destroy anyone if the friendship breaks up.
* Allows for the equal sharing of power and control - neither one dominating, neither one constantly submitting.
* Doesn't make unrealistic demans on each other.
* Involves no ideal expectations.
* Accepts responsibility for one's own thoughts, feelings and behavior.
* Involves sharing in decision-making.
* Enjoys freedom to express all emotions.
* Involves communicating effectively.
May you have a safe and fun Valentines Day!
2/11/09
Coffee Talk "God???" 2/4/08
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” This is one of the many sentiments that C.S. Lewis shared about God. At Coffee Talk this week we approached this most delicate of topics. It had been anticipated that the subject would be a difficult one, given the variety of experiences and wide scope of backgrounds of our membership. It is perhaps the god-induced pain mentioned by Mr. Lewis that made the subject so difficult to discuss this week. This was most evident at the beginning of the evening when, even before the topic could be properly introduced, there was a collective outcry for an extensive set of ground rules to regulate the discussion (Primarily: no discussion of organized religion). This was very clearly a sensitive topic; one which our moderator has been reluctant yet eager to broach.
The only general consensus reached by our group, was that the topic was a difficult one to tackle, even by a group with such stunning mental prowess. God means so many things to each person. Are terms such as spirituality and faith inherently associated with God? Can a person have faith and be spiritual, yet reject the notion of a divine power? These questions and more brought our conversation to a tumult. Want to know more of our thought provoking questions? Try these: as gay men, are we limited to just being spiritual? Furthermore, are white Christian gay men limited to just being religious?
“It's complicated.” That became the new theme of the evening. Many feel that the crux of our various spiritual struggles is this: Is there a benefit to being spiritual creatures? I believe this question received a resounding yes. “Religion is for those who don't want to go to Hell. Spirituality is for those of us who have already been through it.”
contributed by Richard A. Matthews, an active Village Core Group member and a devoted Coffee Talk attendee.
2/9/09
2/3/09
Gayme Night **updated**
Come celebrate the Single Awareness with us or if you have a beau, partner, husband or a date, you are still welcome to play with us!
When: Saturday, February 14th @ 7pm
Where: Richard Matthew's Social Hall (pls dial 288 to get in)
150 1st Avenue SLC, UT
What: Board Games, Card Games, Fun times with your new and old friends! There is 2 pool table & a ping pong table a fun way to meet guys outside of the clubs.
We'll have some snacks and drinks, but feel free to bring something to share.
Questions? Email thevillage@utahaids.org or call Carl @ 801-487-2323.
