The Expectations of Others

I'm making it a personal challenge to reference Jean Kilbourne in ALL of my posts. I can't help it- I like a lot of what she says in her highly acclaimed video series about advertising and sexism, Killing Us Softly III. At one point during her lecture/film she talks about the bizarre, polar "expectations" about what a women should be.

Something similar is happening to Gay men. We're expected to be:

• "Out" and "straight acting"


• Fashionable, but not too feminine


• Health conscious, yet sex-crazed barebackers

Here's some other non-polar but equally bizarre expectations (or stereotypes) brought up by the guys from coffee talk:

"People think that because we're Gay - and they have a friend who's Gay - we would be interested in dating said Gay friend."

"We're supposed to be better equipped to deal with irate gay customers."

"According to Right wing Christians we are amoral child abusers."

We're all pretty much up to our ears in the expectations of others and ourselves. It's important to try to objectively take a look at these expectations. Where do they come from? What harm-or good-do they do to each of us and our community?

Josh Newbury leads coffee talk discussions on Wednesdays @ 7pm @ Salt Lake Roasting Company.