Coffee Talk "X OBjectify" 3/4/09

I hear footsteps! A new arrival soon approaches the second story loft of the Salt Lake Roasting Company. A few heads glance over to critique the fresh meat (yes, including mine). I think to myself; “Is he cute?” or perhaps “Is he the one?” Whether it’s a fellow coffee house patron, a passer-by at the gym or self-talk in the mirror; at some point in time we’ve all objectified or been objectified. “Everybody doing it..” so does it become unhealthy? Where do we draw a line? Like any behavior, too much of anything can cause harm to yourself or others. If you haven’t guessed it by now, our coffee talk discussion was on objectification. Having admittedly arrived late and with some disruption; I might add. I apologize in advance for any views I may have missed. Give me a nice non-objectified spanking the next time you see me.

Regardless, a good place to start is by defining the process of objectification and what it means to you . The root word “object” is defined as “…anything that is visible or tangible…”(dictionary.com) but to objectify caries additional implications. To objectify someone is to remove all emotional, mental and non-tangible components from an individual. In other words, our perception of that individual is incomplete either by choice or by lack of information. Most of us objectify others during the inception of a new relationship. We lack the necessary information to construct an accurate and complete depiction of an individual. At a subtle level, we may objectify this new acquaintance until more information is acquired. At this level, objectification is completely normal and quite healthy. So rest assured, you haven’t sinned ….yet!

Objectification is in the eye of the observer, right? Twink, Jock and Leatherman! These homoerotic social classes resonate objectification by nature. The innocent onlooker isn’t always to blame, an individual may participate is certain types of behaviors or actions that contribute to his or her objectification. A go-go boy prancing around in his underwear, a Leatherman in a jock strap or drag queen in costume are all exhibits of behaviors that contribute to objectification.

The other day I was flipping through “Genre” a gay men’s magazine. It’s not often I read this magazine and It didn’t take me long to remember why. How can you guys read with those visual enticements on page-after-page. Hairless STUDS bursting with muscles flexing their budging bodies beneath a layer of kin-tight spandex? “Perfection.” A phrased used often by the Borg in Star Trek. Is this what being Borg are all about? If so, where can I sign up? After all, you only have your humanity to lose… As I flip through a few more delicious pages of sweaty jocks and tempting daddies, I think to myself; won’t he blow a seem wearing that? The stage is set and the pressure is building… I can’t take it anymore! I know what’s coming next… (DARLINGS, get your mind out of the gutter!)…Under the pressure, I SNAP! My internal verbiage begins to digress; “Would he find me hot?’ like “…popcorn popper hot, like exhaust pipe hot.” (dirty love) One objectification leads to another, before you know it; I’ve just self-objectified. Sounds kind of dirty, doesn’t it? Self-objectification manifest itself in our internal judgment of physical appearance, behavior roles and sexual activities we chose to participate in..

When used wisely objectivity is something useful, it may help us negate situations in our life. When this trait falls out of balance, we become harmful to ourselves and others around us. I am not in a position to qualify what is right and wrong for you as an individual, however I believe when we open our hearts and mind in greater awareness of each other; we do the right thing. We must be conscious that each individual has a unique history of emotional, philosophical and share experiences which makes them a product of today. In addition, most individuals strive for goodness and the wellbeing of others and a community as a whole. It’s when miscommunication or blatant disregard for other occurs that an individual becomes toxic to himself and society.

Contributed by: Jeffrey A. Wood, new to The Coffee Talk but not new to The Village.